What I Wish Someone Told Me About ADHD and Emotional Overload

Ever felt hijacked by your own ADHD brain? Here’s what emotional overload looked like for me and the tools that actually helped.

"You’re not crazy. You’re overloaded. And it makes total sense."

I wasn’t being dramatic. I was drowning.

The lights were too bright. The voices too loud. My skin felt wrong.And I still had to figure out what to cook for dinner.

That’s what ADHD emotional overload looks like.Not fidget spinners. Not forgetting keys.But shutdowns that come out of nowhere and leave you curled up on the bathroom floor.

No one ever told me it could feel like this.

ADHD and Emotional Overload: The Part No One Warned Me About

People talk about focus and impulsivity, sure.

But no one warned me how emotions would hit like a freight train.

Something tiny—a look, a tone, a schedule change—and I’d spiral.

I’d snap at people I loved. Or I’d go completely silent. Sometimes I’d just leave mid-conversation and disappear.

The shame after was brutal. Because I knew I overreacted. But in the moment, it felt like my body had been hijacked.

I wasn’t trying to be rude. I was trying to survive.

The Moment I Realised It Wasn’t Just Me

It happened at work.

I’d been trying to reply to an email for 40 minutes.

Noise in the background. Slack pings. Phone vibrating. Lights flickering.

Then my manager asked me a question—just a normal question.

And I broke.

Tears. Panic. Brain offline.

I made up an excuse and walked outside, but what I really wanted to do was disappear.

That night I googled: “Why do I melt down over small things?” That’s when I found out what emotional dysregulation really was—and how common it is with ADHD.

I wasn’t broken. I was overloaded.

There’s a difference.

How DBT Helped Me Regulate Emotions Without Shutting Down

I stumbled into DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) because a support worker gave me a printout once.

I ignored it at first. But eventually I read it. Then I tried it.

One tool stuck

DBT’s “STOP” Skill

It sounds simple. But it’s powerful.

• S – Stop. Literally freeze. Don’t speak. Don’t act. Just pause.

• T – Take a step back. Breathe. Step away. Create space.

• O – Observe. What’s going on? Internally and externally?

• P – Proceed mindfully. Respond from a calm place—not panic.

It doesn’t stop the overwhelm. But it gives you one beat of space.

And sometimes, that’s all you need to avoid wrecking your day or your relationships.

I started using it during overwhelm spirals. I kept a sticky note on my phone case that said “STOP.”

It saved me from a thousand unnecessary apologies.

The Other Game-Changer? Naming It.

When I started saying things like:

“Hey, I’m a bit overloaded right now—can I come back to this in a few? ”people didn’t hate me.

They actually respected it.

That sentence—“I’m overloaded right now”—became a boundary I could live inside. It let me pause instead of explode. Rest instead of disappear. Ask instead of assume.

If You’ve Ever Felt Like You’re “Too Sensitive”—You’re Probably Just Overstimulated

You’re not lazy. You’re not mean. You’re not overreacting.

You’re reacting perfectly to a system that’s been pushed too far without support.

Emotional overload isn’t a character flaw. It’s a signal.

And when you learn to listen to it—without shame—you can finally begin to respond instead of spiral.

If this feels familiar, the free DBT Workbook might help. I built it for moments like this.

Start Your Journey Now

Barkley, R. A. (2022). Taking charge of adult ADHD (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.

Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Shaw, P., Stringaris, A., Nigg, J., & Leibenluft, E. (2014). Emotion dysregulation in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. American Journal of Psychiatry, 171(3), 276–293. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2013.13070966

Tuckman, A. (2012). More attention, less deficit: Success strategies for adults with ADHD. Specialty Press.